Chris Martin, the sensitive, enlightened soul who occasionally breaks faces in bars, has announced a string of dates he and his somehow controversial band are playing on an upcoming tour to promote the release of Viva La Vida, Reuters reported Friday.
I say “somehow controversial” because there’s no real reason why people complain about Coldplay, except that other people complain about them. I never hear anyone complain about Travis – most of their following quietly gets away with liking them unchallenged. Keane’s name hardly makes an appearance outside of record stores, and Snow Patrol is in line to be the next prom king. These bands and many more who sound just like them go about their daily business of making their music and being liked by people who are into atmospheric, slightly over-romanticized balladeering. Coldplay, on the other hand, is often found being lynched by the same people who attack message boards en-masse when Radiohead’s name is spoken in vain.
Here’s an unpopular thought: If you were to grow a clone of yourself in a petri dish, raise him or her in solitary confinement away from all forms of media, then one day walk in and show him or her a Radiohead song back to back with a Coldplay song, your culturally undereducated clone would probably not be able to tell the difference. But I guess it’s a complicated world.
To get back to the point, the band at least 12 people love are kicking off what looks like a very long tour in support of the appropriately long-titled Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends. Opening the tour will be two free shows, one in London on June 16, and one in Madison Square Garden June 23. The musical martyr squad will also be performing their 2-million-times downloaded free single, “Violet Hill,” on the Today Show June 27, according to promoters. With these pesky dates taken care of, Coldplay will be on the road, including roads in Europe and Japan, and out of your hair well into the next year. A partial list of tour dates is below, just in case someone mysteriously happens to talk you into buying tickets.
June 29: Philadelphia, PA (Wachovia Center)
July 2: Washington, DC (Verizon Center)
July 3: Hartford, CT (XL Center)
July 5: Detroit, MI (The Palace of Auburn Hills)
July 6: Cleveland, OH (Quicken Loans Arena)
July 8: St. Paul, MN (Xcel Energy Center)
July 9: Kansas City, MO (Sprint Center)
July 10: Oklahoma City, OK (Ford Center)
July 12: Phoenix, AZ (Jobbing.com Arena)
July 19: Las Vegas, NV (MGM Grand Garden Arena)
July 21: Sacramento, CA (ARCO Arena)
July 24: San Jose, CA (HP Pavilion)
July 27: Pemberton, BC (Pemberton Festival)
July 29: Edmonton, AB (Rexall Place)
July 30: Calgary, AB (Pengrowth Saddledome)
August 1: Winnipeg, MB (MTS Centre)
August 3: Omaha, NE (Qwest Center)
August 4: Chicago, IL (United Center)
October 20: Montreal, QC (Bell Centre)
October 21: Ottawa, ON, (Scotiabank Place)
October 26: East Rutherford, NJ (Izod Center)
October 29: Toronto, ON (Air Canada Centre)
October 30: Toronto, ON (Air Canada Centre)
November 3: Boston, MA (TD Banknorth Garden)
November 11: Atlanta, GA (Philips Arena)
November 18: Houston, TX (Toyota Center)
November 19: Dallas, TX (American Airlines Center)
November 21: Denver, CO (Pepsi Center Arena)
November 22: Salt Lake City, UT (Energy Solutions Arena)
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