OK, you might want to sit down, because this is all a little confusing.
Singer and late-night social butterfly Amy Winehouse is being questioned by London police today for an assault the not-so-tall scrapper allegedly carried out in the wee hours of Wednesday morning. What I mean by “assault” is the singer reportedly head-butted one guy, punched a second guy’s lights out, and smashed the face of a third guy, all in an evening on the Camden bar scene, NME reported Friday. I now have my next vacation destination figured out.
Let’s move chronologically. Winehouse apparently started Tuesday night hanging out with some friends, including, predictably, Babyshambles guitarist Mik Whitnal. That band is, it seems, all it takes for a night to go completely awry.
According to reports from the Sun tabloid, she first punched musician Mustapha el Mounmi in the face at the Bar Tok pub, because Mounmi would not let her take his place at the pool table.
“I feel so angry,” the fat-lipped Mounmi was quoted as saying. “She smashed my face hard. I could not hit back—she's a woman.”
Later that night she was seen outside of the Good Mixer pub in Camden, where a bystander tried to hail her a cab. The singer apparently thought his hail was a grope, and her beehive-adorned forehead lunged forward and found his unsuspecting visage. Her furious fists then struck out Tekken-style and face-tapped another bystander. Not daring to end the mayhem so soon, Winehouse later walked into a pole while attempting to buy newspapers along her cab ride home. She ended the night gracefully by stiffing the cabbie for half her fare. It was a brutal night, by anyone’s standards.
How much of this is true may only be known by those who bore witness, but the 38-year-old cab hailer complained to police, who may slap Winehouse with a 6-month jail sentence if convicted. Then there are these photos showing Winehouse’s encounter with the pole, as well as her walking with zombie-eyed guitarist Whitnal. They, and Amy, are indeed treasures.
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