Winehouse Rides Grammy Wins To The Bank

Walking punchline Amy Winehouse has cashed in on her mega success at this month’s Grammys. The snarly toothed singer leapfrogged all the way up to number two on last week’s Billboard charts, shipping an estimated one hundred and fifteen thousand albums. Gee, I wonder what she plans to spend all the extra pocket cash on. I’m sure if she brainstorms with disgraced Washington DC Mayor Marion Barry, they’ll come up with something.

According to NME, relaxed singer-songwriter Jack Johnson held on to the top spot, shipping more than one hundred and eighty thousand LPs. That’s a lot of surfboards. Is anyone else struck by the absurd contrast between Winehouse and Johnson? One lives a low-key life of martinis on the beach. The other coughs her way through clouds of crack smoke amidst the dredges of society. It’s nice to see more customers are choosing positivity over putrescence.