Junior High Memento: Twisted Sister's We're Not Gonna Take It

By Mack Rawden 2007-09-27 12:52:45
Most music videos are complete throwaways that only work to briefly serve the interests of the record company. They try to make the band look as cool as possible and to help accomplish that sometimes difficult goal, directors throw in scantily-clad girls to distract viewers from how ugly or hobo-like the lead singer looks. Twisted Sisterís ďWeíre Not Gonna Take ItĒ is not one of those clips. In fact, thereís basically only one girl in the entire video, and sheís a middle-aged housewife who either has more than a few mental deficiencies or just really hates her husband.

Despite failing to crack Billboardís top 20, ďWeíre Not Gonna Take ItĒ became an instant campy classic on MTV. The videoís cheesy graphics and never-say-die mantra proved to be a winning partnership. The main antagonist, played by Mark Metcalf, parodied his role in Animal House, and throughout the video he quarrels with both his degenerate, guitar-loving son and all five members of Twisted Sister.

Sure, Metcalf is hilarious as the grumpy, cantankerous patriarch, but this clipís true brilliance stems from the protagonists and their steadfast defiance of the laws of science. No One in this entire video adheres to any scientific laws! Itís great. The sonís guitar playing is so powerful that it actually shoots his father out a window. Dee Snider is able to turn children into badass, adult trannies by nodding at them. The main child even has a unique super-hero like ability that allows him to spin in a circle ten times and turn into Dee Snider. Suck on that, Issac Newton.

Iím pretty sure the only one taking anything in this video is the father, up the ass from both his whore of a wife, his children, and every member of Twisted Sister. He gets dragged down the stairs by his hair. He gets hit with a door five times in a row. This poor bastard even gets water poured on him by a middle-aged woman. By the end, the prick is forced to throw himself through a window because it seems a far better alternative than dealing with Dee Snider and his midriff-exposing outfit any further. It was the only reasonable solution for anyone.

Hereís to you, Twisted Sister. You ruled the eighties with bad special effects and even worse hair....


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