Frequent Morrissey opener and all-around eccentric Kristeen Young has been booted off a tour with the former Smiths’ frontman. Hostilities arose after a fan shouted Morrissey’s name during Young’s performance. She responded with, ”Morrissey gives good head, I mean, er, cunnilingus.” Brilliant. What a great way to get noticed: bash the headliner after one enthusiast admits who he’s there to see. Newsflash, Kristeen, outside of your parents, everyone else is there to see Morrissey.

According to Music-News, Young responded on her MySpace with the following: ”What I said was part of a thread of stage statements I made throughout our set. They were metaphorical and overstated to make an artistic point. The 'offending' statement, in particular, was in no way a literal statement, and was very much in keeping with the tone of my writing in general. I reach for beauty and intelligence in my lyrics, but try to retain a bit of the everyday in them. Maybe the statement was a bit TOO everyday. Maybe I misjudged, but I meant no harm.

Did you honestly expect the offending to respond with anything other than art-house jargon void of meaning? ”The 'offending' statement, in particular, was in no way a literal statement, and was very much in keeping with the tone of my writing in general.” During my junior year of high school, I commented in loud booming voice that my teacher bared an uncanny resemblance to Sloth from The Goonies. I guess I should have just told him the disparaging remark was “in keeping with the tone of my writing in general.” Nah. He has more than a seventh grade education level; he would have realized just how hollow the excuse really was.