Earlier this week I thought maybe Pete Wentz has done the unthinkable. I thought Pete Wentz had somehow been able to save some remnant of a soul amidst the induction into Joe Simpson’s MTV version of the Partidge Family (I would say Manson family, but let’s be fair). I was wrong, horribly, disgustingly, puking into my cereal bowl and still eating it, wrong.
Last week on his website friendsorenemies.com Fall Out Boy bassist and all -around emo king Pete Wentz posted an angry rant against the shell of itself MTV has become. If you don’t want to link to the post here and read it for yourself, he called MTV out for not playing music videos anymore. When I read this, somewhere in my heart a compassion for emo kids filled with pride. One of MTV’s own just kicked it in the crotch. Awesome!
Not awesome. Turns out the whole damn thing was a ploy. This week Wentz was announced as the host of a new MTV show wretchedly titled F’n MTV. Wentz wrote on his blog: “mtv has greenlit an hour long show to be aired live once a week this summer. it will have five video premieres played in their entirety plus one classic/vintage video. also one artist will appear on every episode and play live with no lip synching. pretty excited to get a video show back on the channel! i will let you know more details as i find them out. but thats pretty rad. almost as good as burnt marshmallows and graham crackers...”
Almost as good as s’mores? Who are you kidding, Pete Wentz? You got our hopes up for a better MTV, or better, no MTV. Now, you’ve just let them give you a cold glass of milk to calm down before they tucked you into a pillowy bed of bullshit. Your show will probably only last until the next season of Making the Band or the next Real World/Road Rules Challenge.
Pete Wentz, you are not the Che Guevara of music videos, your Trojan Horse has not just infiltrated enemy territory. I read the blog where you admit your scheme: “soooo since my last lil tirade about the playing of videos on mtv has spread around a bit more even than planned. i had already been talking to some people at mtv... anyway. it is just an idea right now but im pretty stoked on it. i think some of you will be too.” We are not stoked. We know you are one of them using your website and your articulate attempt to tell us what we already know to get us to drink the Kool-Aid. You had your MTV show in the works and this was just a cheap marketing ploy. You are just a cheap marketing ploy.
Now, please excuse me while I go eat because burning you, Pete Wentz, is almost as good as raisin bread toast smeared with peanut butter, Nutella, and marshmallow fluff with banana in the middle.