Chris Rock Thinks Black People Can't Ski
Itís ironic that while Chris Rockís standup is fresh, original, and utterly unique; his movie career is probably best described as hackey. And it just keeps getting worse. Now heís gone from simply using clichť ideas to remaking things whole cloth. Heís top-lining that unnecessary Death at a Funeral remake and for his next trick heís remaking a French comedy called La premiere etoile (which translates to The First Star). And none of them will be funny because Chris Rock isnít funny in movies. He may be the funniest standup ever, but when it comes to comedic actor heís always wildly out of his depth.
So hereís the skinny on The First Star, the next thing he plans to ruin. Variety says heís writing the screenplay, which should be easy since it was already written once, while at the same time being impossible unless heís recently learned to read French. Heíll also produce, just to make the whole thing seem more like a passion project instead of yet another Chris Rock cinematic cash-in.
The original movie was released in 2009 and told the story of a black family who leaves the hood and ends up on the ski slopes. See itís funny because black people donít like to be cold! Worse, they donít ski and everyone at the ski resort is a stuffy, uptight white person who canít dance! Hilarious! I bet Chris Rock wonít fit in at all.
This First Star remake should make a great double feature with the equally outdated script Iím pitching to Dane Cook in which he plays a white guy from high-society who travels back in time to rural Georgia where heís forced to work in a cotton field. See itís funny because white people burn really easy in the hot sun! Worse, they donít pick cotton and everyone else in the field is black and there against their will! Hilarious! I bet Dane Cook wonít fit in at all.
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