Call me sick, but there’s nothing I love more than a good disaster movie. Even now that I live in New York, there’s a distinct thrill in seeing the Statue of Liberty getting her head lopped off, or Grand Central Station assaulted by meteors. And don’t even get me started on the satisfaction of seeing Los Angeles get it.

So I’m excited, despite all reason, for Roland Emmerich’s 2012, the mother of all disaster epics which promises to depict the end of the world. And now The Latino Review has given me a good reason to come to my senses about this movie. Reviewing an early copy of the script, Kellvin Chavez calls it “an almost completely by-the-numbers disaster movie, featuring all the requisite dubious science, silly and implausible set-pieces, narrative clichés, broad, one-dimensional characters, and heavy handed attempts at emotion and morals that one would expect from the genre.” So the means the Statue of Liberty will get blown up this time?

In Chavez’s detailed script review, you can feel the usual disaster movie elements all falling into place. There’s the scientist who knows about the impending disaster years before anyone else. There’s an affable father who has to struggle to protect his children as the world falls apart. There’s the estranged wife he reunites with and tries to save. And, of course, there’s villainous world leaders who refuse to protect anyone from the natural disasters, even though they’re well aware of the consequences.

Chavez’s full review contains massive spoilers, so head over there only if you want to know pretty much the entire plot. But, from the sound of it, you probably know the entire plot without even clicking the link. I’d like to say I’m disappointed and expect better from Emmerich, but given that most of his movies since Independence Day have excelled only when blowing up landmarks, I can’t really blame him for just trying to replicate the formula. The events of 2012 sound like they’ll provide plenty of opportunity for our main characters to run away while the earth implodes in some way or another. If that’s your thing—and it is for me—you still might leave the theater happy.

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