5 Costumes Way Too Lame To Be For Halloween

By Katey Rich 2009-10-28 13:09:57discussion comments
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It's just three days to go until Halloween, and if you've got your act together, you've already figured out the perfect costume that will wow the ladies/gentlemen and convince people not only that you're creative, but that you have good taste in pop culture.

Because what fun is Halloween if you can't dress up like your favorite character from any given TV show or movie? We're running a Halloween Costume Contest (more info here) that's showcasing the best of these, but we're also invested in helping you avoid the worst. Beyond showing up with a shoddy costume, there's the ultimate sin of wearing the same thing as 10 other people. There's a fine line between a costume everyone will recognize and one that everyone is already sick of, and we are here for help you avoid that line.

For example: Fandango.com recently conducted a survey of moviegoers to find out the most popular costumes this year for both men and women. Predictably, all the best costumes went to the men, but so did all the worst and most ubiquitous. Here's the list, along with the percentage of costume who said these would be their costumes:

1. THIS IS IT’s Michael Jackson 13%
2. WOLVERINE (Hugh Jackman) 11%
3. NEW MOON’s Edward (Robert Pattinson) 10%
4. G.I. JOE’s Snake Eyes  7%
5. WATCHMEN’s Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) 6%
6. PAUL BLART: MALL COP (Kevin James) 3%
7. THE HANGOVER’s Alan (Zach Galifaniakis) with a baby bjorn 3%
8. NEW MOON’s Jacob (Taylor Lautner) 3%
9. ZOMBIELAND’s Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) 2%
10. WATCHMEN’s Rorschach (Jackie Earl Haley) 2%

There are obvious practical problems with some of these-- you'll freeze to death with your shirt off as Jacob, and who is going to let you borrow their baby to name Carlos and carry around all night? But, with a few exceptions (Tallahassee is never lame, and G..I Joe still seems cool somehow), these are all just bad costumes. Tomorrow we'll be giving advice on how to look great on Halloween, but first, below are five of the lamest costumes and why to avoid them, including two from the list above. Trust me, we're doing this for your own good.

Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), X-Men Origins: Wolverine
It might have been cool a few years ago, when Wolverine was the best part of the X-Men movies. And of course dressing as Wolverine based on your comic book obsession as a kid was always OK. But now Wolverine is the main character of one of the worst blockbusters of the year, and dressing as him only implies support for that disaster of a movie. You at least want people to believe you have better taste than that.
If you absolutely must: Wear the yellow and black costume from the comics, obviously.

Max (Max Records), Where The Wild Things Are
Yeah, yeah, it was your favorite book as a kid, and you've wanted to wear Max's wolf suit for Halloween for years. But listen to me, and listen to me good: this wolf suit is available for purchase at Urban Outfitters, the home of mass-marketed hipster faux-individuality. Plus you won't look as cute in it as Max Records did.
If you absolutely must: Have a friend dressed as a Wild Thing, and ride them piggyback all night. Hey, if you're gonna do it, you have to commit.

Michael Jackson, This Is It
First of all, it's apparently the most popular costume among men (and #9 among women!), which means you are definitely not original. Secondly, you're inevitably going to be asked to Moonwalk, and what are the odds you can actually do it? Third, this costume hasn't been original probably since the early 80s. Give it up.
If you absolutely must: Go as MJ in The Wiz, complete with scarecrow costume. Or have a group go as the Jackson Five. Anything to shake it up. (Note: please only do this if you are in fact black).

Julia Child (Meryl Streep), Julie & Julia
This costume is particularly bad for men hoping to imitate the 6'2 Child, but Fandango says it's the #10 most popular answer for women, so the plague is widespread. What do I need to tell you beyond the fact that Meryl Streep (or, hell, Dan Aykroyd) did it better? Plus, you'd need to carry around some sort of knife or kitchen implement to complete the look, and that will probably get in the way of your candy grabbing/drinking plans.
If you absolutely must: Get in character early enough to cook something delicious and feed to everyone forced to hear you say "Bon appetit!" all night.

Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), Watchmen
This space had been saved for Rorschach, but seeing Dr. Manhattan further up on Fandango's list indicates a dire situation. With this costume you're either wearing a skintight blue suit with painted-on abs (and maybe genitals?), or freezing your ass of in a black bikini and blue body paint, running the risk of being mistake for Tobias Funke. There's a reason Dr. Manhattan was all CGI in the movie-- no human can look like that.
If you absolutely must: Wear a suit and be Dr. Manhattan on the TV show. Extra points for making everyone around you disappear in a fit of rage.


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