I used to hate Billy Ray Cyrus. His whiney, country drawl irritated the hell out of me, and his fans’ rampant overpraise pissed off the hateful critic living inside my brain. But one day, it all changed. I was browsing through the two dollar t-shirt section at a local Goodwill when I came across a slightly tattered purple shirt, emblazoned with a torn aorta and an inscription that read “Don’t Break My Achy Breaky Heart.” Without Billy Ray and his legion of hillbilly fans, that shirt wouldn’t exist, and I wouldn’t be mobbed by easy, ignorant redneck girls every time I wear it. God, I love the South.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, my shirt’s namesake has signed on to star in the upcoming indie picture Flying By. The general premise follows a married man who decides to risk his marriage, mortgage, and future on a chance at Rock N Roll. Wow, what a novel premise. If the producers are real creative, they might even throw in some hardships along the way.

Olesya Rulin has also been tapped to play Cyrus’ daughter. If you’re under the age of fifteen or have an IQ under eighty, you might fondly remember her from High School Musical. This future cliche-filled pile of mediocrity begins shooting on November 26th. I wouldn’t hold my breathe for next year’s Oscar race.