Amy Poehler is set to star in Lunch Lady, a movie about the hair-net wearing woman who slops food on your child’s plate. THR says it’s based on a children’s book, so don’t expect this to be the female version of Observe & Report though let’s face it, that’s probably what a proper lunch lady movie should be.

The books it’s based on feature a mild-mannered cafeteria worker who, wait for it, fights crime in her spare time. The story follows three kids as they attempt to unravel the secrets of her double life.

This is all wrong. It’s about time the lunch lady got her due, but I don’t want a mild-mannered crime-fighting lunch lady, I want a lunch lady who can dance. Unfortunately they’ve waited too long. They’ve missed their chance. Amy Poehler isn’t the SNL alum who should be making this movie. This is:



RIP Chris Farley.