We're all allowed to look sarcastically back at our own childhoods. The fashions, the belief in crazy superstitions, that one decision to cut your own hair. But some things are sacred, and that includes The Berenstain Bears, the classic series of books about a family of bears who have good morals and a perfect family life, but were also, for whatever reason, insanely entertaining to read.

And now, of course, they're going to be a movie that's described as "witty but never sarcastic" by producer Shawn Levy, who as a director has brought us the first two Night at the Museum movies. According to USA Today, writers have yet to be hired for the film, but Levy has all kinds of ideas about what it should look like. "I'd like the film to be un-ironic about its family connections but have a wry comedic sensibility that isn't oblivious to the fact that they're bears. The comedy comes from this bear family coexisting in a more recognizably real world."

He then goes and compares the ideal version of the movie to Elf, which might be a fair comparison except that Elf was wonderful by virtue of being an original story, and this is just an attempt to cash in on a perfectly good set of books beloved by generations of first-graders. Some things just aren't meant to be enjoyed by a broad family audience. Someone please stop this before we have another Alvin and the Chipmunks situation on our hands.