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Boll Sieges DungeonBy Scott Gwin: 2005-07-01 00:00:00
Is everyone ready for the understatement of the year? Uwe Boll has yet to make a truly successful film. To the best of my knowledge and research, no film of Boll's has ever turned a significant profit at the box office. Boll's painful-to-watch collective body of work has been panned harder than the whole of California was during the 1849 gold rush. His films are so horrid that there are rumors the FBI tags your file as "possibly mentally unstable" if you ever go on record as Uwe Boll fan. Despite all of the above, he continues to find ways to fund his films and the pain is only going to get worse. Video game fans have been banging their heads on the wall for months now as they await the release of the Boll directed film version of BloodRayne, presently in post production. Now they're banging double time with the announcement that Uwe is having yet another clueless go at a popular video game. According to Hollywood Reporter Boll is officially greenlighted and begins filming next week on Dungeon Siege, based after the popular game of the same name. Somebody seems to think throwing more money at Boll will solve his directorial problems. Siege has a sickeningly impressive $60 million dollar budget. Money isn't the only thing Boll has magically acquired. His cast list is equally surprising. Jason Stratham and Leelee Sobieski are slated to play the leads, Farmer and Muriella. Court magician and father to Muriella is to be played by John Rys Davies while Ron Perlmam, Matthew Lillard, Burt Reynolds and Kristanna Loken round out the cast. Does such an impressive cast list indicate some kind of hope for a turnaround in Boll's track record? Don't hold your breath. It's cool to hate Uwe Boll movies. Boll will have to make an impressive showing with both BloodRayne and Dungeon Siege to turn most folks' minds around. The prospect is unlikely. Many people are rather emphatic in their dislike. Among them are BNN Reporter Stuart Wood (who has no doubt been reduced to convulsions by the sheer number of times I've typed "Boll" into this article) and internet cartoonist Woody Hearn (GU Comics) who captures the sentiment of many video game fans (see the frame on the right).
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