If you’re lucky, you’ve probably forgotten that Uwe Boll’s next cinematic crack o’ doom is about to be released in theaters this weekend. Because I love spreading post-Christmas misery, we’re here to remind you.

BloodRayne opens this week, and though you may have seen absolutely no advertising for it, that doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be good. The fact that it’s directed by Uwe Boll tells you that. But Uwe is out talking about the movie, and insist (as usual) that people are going to love it.

“The horror audience will be very happy with the gore effects in BLOODRAYNE”, says Boll, careful not to mention things like the acting or the script. What do you do when you’ve got nothing but you want to get people to see your movie anyway? You try to make it seem edgy. Dr. Boll may not be bright, but even he knows that: “We tried to get the hardest R as possible, and to our surprise the MPAA approved it without any changes.” They probably feared any changes might only make it worse, thus causing one of those space-time continuum rifts from Back to the Future (Which I recently rewatched… such great films, they really shouldn’t be mentioned in the same paragraph as Uwe Boll, sorry about that Robert Zemeckis).

So Uwe is pitching his movie to horror freaks, a group that is as a whole much less picky than the rest of us. Last I heard though, even they don’t like him. He thinks they will, “It was the bloodiest movie I´ve ever made", explains Boll, "we´ve used hundreds of gallons of Blood.” I have a feeling that even his blood isn’t quality.

BloodRayne hits theaters this Friday and so we couldn’t pass up an opportunity to print quotes from cinema’s biggest buffoon.

For more BloodRayne info and images visit our preview database.