What the hell happened? I just woke up from my bi-weekly Odinsleep, and apparently, the new crop of movies has already opened. It’s only Thursday. This Memorial Day weekend snuck up like a thief in the night, but I won’t complain since it allows me to take Monday off to grill burgers and re-watch Miracle On Ice highlights on Youtube. That’s why we invented this holiday, right?

They say it takes thirteen times doing something consecutively to make a habit. This is only the 5th CB Recommends. On any other week, I’d be very concerned you made horrible choices without my guiding hand, but to be perfectly honest, it’s hard to miss this weekend. Word is Kung Fu Panda is really good, and Tree Of Life took home the top honor at Cannes. That just leaves The Hangover 2, which despite negative reviews, is still an acceptable option. Think of it like Sbarro. Sure, there are healthier, even better options at the food court, but no one can be blamed for giving in and buying a greasy slice of pepperoni.

Here’s what Cinema Blend recommends for the week of May 27th, 2011…

If you want to see the best movie, CB recommends...
… brushing up on your ninja roundhouses with Kung Fu Panda 2. Despite trailers that made it look cheeky and too goofy for its own good, the original made serious bank and accrued an almost cult-like following. Cinema Blend’s Head Honcho Josh Tyler is first among those ardent enthusiasts, and I’m sure he’s pleased to hear the general consensus for Kung Fu Panda 2 has been as good, if not better than the first one. Our own Eric Eisenberg gave it four stars and privately raved to me about how wonderful the animation looked. Put on your foil and limber up alongside Po, the world might need your skills someday.

If you saw The Hangover and loved it, CB recommends...
… paying to see Todd Phillips try again. Look: I haven’t seen The Hangover 2 yet. Unfortunately, every Tom, Dick and Katey Rich seems to be tearing the Wolfpack a new asshole. They may be right. The sequel may be garbage. I don’t care. I need to find out for myself, and you know something, you do too. Here’s why. Let’s say I go to some new fish restaurant, and the tartar sauce is delicious. It’s so good in fact that I keep returning every few months for two years. Then I see a review for their new upgraded tartar sauce talking all sorts of nonsense about how it’s practically the same thing but just not quite as good. Am I just gonna take that tartar sauce critique at its word? No. I’m gonna get my tartar sauce-loving ass off the couch and try it for myself. If it sucks, so be it. At least I tasted it for myself, and for the record, if there’s ever a third tartar sauce, I’ll try that fucker too.

If you’re looking for a great indie, CB recommends...
… getting Malicked by The Tree Of Life. Eccentric filmmaker Terrence Malick has made six films in forty-two years. Sometimes he waits two years in between offerings, and sometimes he waits two decades. His last one, 2006’s The New World, was trashed by some critics and called the best of the year by others. His newest was just awarded the top prize at the Cannes Film Festival by the Robert De Niro led jury. Cinema Blend’s Katey Rich loved it. I haven’t the slightest idea how I’ll feel, but that’s the true power of a filmmaker like Terrence Malick. Love it, hate it, fail to get it, one way or another, you’re still getting Malicked.

If you’d rather sit on the couch, CB recommends...
… singing along to Elton John’s music with Gnomeo and Juliet. I’m not going to pretend like a movie about rival garden gnomes trying to hook up on the down low is your best possible rental option. It’s clearly not, but what the hell was Netflix invented for if not wasting time on nonsense like Gnomeo and Juliet? I’ll be honest: I almost saw this in theaters. Then I realized my girlfriend and I could just easily watch it a few months later for a fraction of the cost with the added bonus of strangers not judging us walking into the theater. Win-win. Bring on “Crocodile Rock”.

You can order Gnomeo And Juliet right now from Amazon here.

CB Recommends answers your email.
Dear CB Recommends,

My friends are always complaining about how I only like big-budget studio movies. They’re coming over next week, and I want to shock them by putting on something crazy they’ve never seen before. What should I pick?

Jim from Kansas City
Nice. I love the ‘ol pretend like you’re about to put in a light-hearted comedy only to sucker punch the room with a fucked-up indie. I’d go with Julien Donkey-Boy. This movie includes but is not limited to: incest, extended and uncomfortable musical numbers, murder, Werner Herzog, black albinos and kids being sprayed with hoses. I kind of like it, but every time I’ve tried to get other people on board, they’ve not been pleased.

You can order Julien Donkey-Boy on Amazon here.

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