Comic Con: Robert Rodriguez Shows Off 7 Minutes Of Machete
While not an official part of Comic Con, Robert Rodriguez, Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez showed up at a local parking lot to host a party tonight, complete with a taco truck and free posters for all the guests. But what is the point of hosting a party for a movie outside of Comic Con if you’re not going to deliver the goods? Fortunately, this was something Mr. Rodriguez totally understood and revealed seven minutes of his newest film.
The first scene we see is with Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez. He’s looking at pictures of a woman named “She” posted up on a tackboard and asks if it is her (She seems to be some sort of a resistance fighter). Rodriguez retorts that if it was her she wouldn’t be working in a taco truck. She talks about the myth and legend of She and how she supports the network and is a vigilante standing up for what’s right. He begins to move his hand up her leg, but she says, “don’t start what you can’t finish” and identifies him as Machete. He asks her what she knows and she says she’s heard the legend. He says that “maybe the legend’s better.” She immediately sprawls herself out on top of him and a bass guitar kicks in on the soundtrack. Before it can get any further, the scene cuts to black.
We then see Machete wake up in a bed next to Jessica Alba. Both fully dressed, Alba wakes up first and moves her hands up and down her body as to confirm that they didn’t have sex. She is relieved and calls him a gentleman. Machete opens his eyes and slowly starts to push her arm off of him, though she protests and tells him that she is comfortable. We see shadows move behind the curtains and Machete pushes Alba off the bed as men come into the room with their guns blazing. Machete is able to take many of them down with the biggest revolver you’ve ever seen, but Alba finds herself facing down a man in a luchador mask. She grabs for a gun but the luchador kicks it out of her hand. But that’s not going to be enough to stop her. She grabs for a pair of red, spiked high-heels and puts them to good use, stabbing the luchador in the face.
The scene then changes to Robert DeNiro, playing a Texas senator, getting fitted for a suit with Jeff Fahey standing in the background. On the news there is a report about Machete assassinating a senator and DeNiro, in a southern accent, ushers out the two girls that are helping him. As soon as they leave his accent drops and he sounds like the DeNiro we all know and love, talking about the need to get rid of this Mexican vigilante. Fahey calls Machete a cockroach that will eventually be squished. This isn’t enough for the senator, however, who responds, “this cucaracha has AK-47s and is laying waste to everything that lands in his fucking path.”
The next scene is in a hospital where two men approach the counter saying they are looking for a man that has just been admitted and is likely in ICU. While the woman is nonchalant about giving them the details, as they leave she quickly gets on a phone to tell Machete that there are men on their way. Cutting to Machete’s room, he begins to look for a back exit and fails, instead deciding to fight back. He grabs a sharp blade that someone describes as a “skull scraper.” The men approach the room and are about to go through a pair of double doors when a cart comes rocketing out and slows down just as it passes them. Realizing that it is meant as a distraction, the men pull out their guns and aim it toward the doors. What they don’t know is that Machete was on the cart and is now sneaking up behind them. Machete then drops a string of cloth that he has attached a bunch of knives to and begins to swing it, cutting up faces left and right. He then whips out the skull-scraper, drives it into a mans stomach, and pulls out the man’s small intestine. Machete then proceeds to drag the man by his guts to the nearest window, where he uses it to swing down to the lower level and gets to safety.
Needless to say, the entire thing was totally badass and totally lives up to the Machete name. The red band trailer is expected to go up later tonight and you can be sure that we will have it the second it’s available.
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