You probably know Commissioner Gordon as this nice old man who flashes the Bat Symbol whenever Gotham goes to hell, but that’s not the whole story. He’s actually a rather impulsive manwhore. It’s true. Twenty four hours ago, he wasn’t married. Now he has a wife and a rather aged son. I’m not a scientist; so, I can’t tell you exactly how this happened, but I’m sure it involves creepy old man sex.

According to ComingSoon.net, Melinda McGraw has signed on to play Mrs. Gordon in the new Batman sequel The Dark Knight. Nathan Gamble has also accepted the roll of Gordon’s currently unnamed son. The two will join other unheard of nobodies like Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, and former Bratpack member Anthony Michael Hall.