If there is one truth in video games adaptations it is that they all suck. Yes, even Resident Evil; why people defend that shallow, empty unentertaining schlock is beyond me. But I digress into another Paul Anderson rant. I'm here to talk about the Doom adaptation and incoming news about how much it will suck. If reports are true, on a Paul Anderson/Uwe Boll scale.

Those nice people at Dark Horizons have found a set report from a Czech website who got to visit the movie during it's filming in Prague. The movie has a $70 million budget, is being helmed by long-time DP Andrzej Bartkowiak and stars LOTR's Karl Urban in the lead role. Now the really bad news...

Strike 1: The original premise of the movie has been changed. Now we are no longer dealing with vicious demons pouring into a Martian marine colony from a mysterious hellgate. Nope, we're going with the much more original idea of people on a planet that isn't Mars mutated by a nasty super-virus and being tackled by a glorified SWAT team. So, um... Resident Evil in Space then? No? How about 28 Years Later? If anyone can think of a more cliched idea in this day and age short of tackling "aliens that assume human form" please email me and I'll pass the thoughts on to supposed screenwriter Dave Callaham.

But here's the real Uwe Boll style gem...

Strike 2: Some sequences will be shot in a first-person perspective like the game itself.

Someone telefrag me right now.

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