Dragonball Evolution 2 Confirmed, Chinese Conspiracy To Blame

By Josh Tyler 2009-06-08 14:14:55discussion comments
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Even though here in the United States, Dragonball Evolution was a massive flop hated by everyone but the most self-loathing of Dragonball fansÖ itís getting a sequel. James Marsters, who played the villain Lord Piccolo in the first film, confirmed the rumors in an interview with a fansite. Marsters says that after his upcoming concert tour, ďweíll start shooting the second Dragonball movie. Iíve just heard that I can actually tell that there is going to be a sequel.Ē

Even the Dragonball fan community seems less than enthused by this announcement. The question everyone seems to be asking is: ďWhy god why?!Ē. Hereís why:

Dragonball Evolution made only a miserable $9 million dollars, total, domestically. Unfortunately it seems international audiences are a little less savvy than American crowds. Overseas this bright and shining turd made $45 million. In particular it was big in both Japan and China. Meanwhile Fox spent almost no money at all advertising it and the cast was comprised mainly of genre television castoffs, so itís not like they spent anything on salaries. Thereís a chance that it may actually have made a profit and of course Fox assumes that if people in China watched this shit the first time thereís every reason to think theyíll happily watch more of it.

Itís Asia thatís to blame for this sequel tragedy so hereís my suggestion: Keep it out of America. No one wants it, it wastes space in our movie theaters and seeing the Dragonball Evolution name followed by a number 2 on our marquees would only be a depressing reminder that itís now Chinaís mental midgets, not ours, who control which shitty movies Hollywood will make. Make it if you must, but donít bother releasing it here. Dragonball is Asiaís Larry the Cable Guy and we already have our own Larry the Cable guy. We donít need someone elseís.
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