8) Scotty Smalls
Position: Left Field

Pros: Good With Erecter Sets, Easily Excited, Has A Ball At Home, Doesn't Know What To Call Bill

Cons: Doesn’t Own A Glove, Can’t Make Smores, Terrible Hat

Analysis: If we’re judging the Scotty that showed up on his first day, clearly, he’s the worst player. He’s got more throwing problems than Chuck Knoblauch, and unlike the former Yankee, he’s not a 4-time all-star with a great bat. He has no redeeming qualities, just a really shitty hat and no fundamentals. He’s a complete embarrassment, and deep down, he knows how much of a goofus he is. But over the course of the film’s runtime, he improves rapidly. He actually even goes yard by the end of the summer. So, let’s judge him mid-The Sandlot, at a point in which he’s rapidly improved to being the second worst player on the team.

There’s something to be said for Smalls’ enthusiasm too. Look in the background of any scene, and there’s a good chance he’s got a big ass grin on his face for no reason whatsoever. You need foolish dumbasses like that to get the rally hats going when you’re down four runs in the second inning. And you also need people willing to sprint as fast as possible to go get a new ball. In short, you need at least one dude who is prone to making this face…

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