The first teaser for the only movie that stands a chance of taking on Pirates 3 next year is here. What, Captain Jack made you forget about Shrek the Third?

But there’s a problem. The trailer’s terrible. Well that’s not fair, the actual footage from the film is kind of funny, but the oppressive, retarded narration they’ve got running over it is mind-numbingly bad. It’s unbearable. It sounds like trailer narration from a low-budget Kate Hudson rom-com, not the announcement of the next sequel in one of the biggest movie franchises of all time. What was DreamWorks thinking?

Fight through the terrible narration and try to enjoy the trailer in spite of it by clicking right here.