I’m not sure quite how this happened, maybe the slavish devotion of fanboys like Kevin Smith had something to do with it, but somehow the cheerleader from Heroes is now a big enough name that studios are putting together star vehicles for her. Isn’t that sort of treatment usually reserved for the likes of Tom Hanks, or at the very least Colin Hanks? Save the cheerleader, doom the world to awful movies starring Hayden Panettiere.

And trust me, this movie will be awful. Variety says Fox has acquired the rights to a novel called “Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List”. It’s a book about a Manhattan girl and her gay best friend protecting their friendship by making up a list of people they’re not allowed to lock lips with. Predictably, relationship peril and hilarity ensues when gay buddy Ely makes out with Naomi’s (Panettiere) boyfriend.

If Naomi had any sense, she never would have concocted the damn list to begin with. If her gay friend can get anyone she’s dating to kiss him, then she’d be smart to simply let them have at it, and then thank him later for saving her from wasting years on a relationship with a guy who’s clearly not really into chicks.

Hayden Panettiere is kind of cute in a slightly chubby kid-sister sort of way, but I can’t see her carrying a movie. I’m not even sure she can actually act. There’s not a lot of acting on Heroes, mostly it’s a lot of looking intense while absolutely nothing happens. Assuming nothing happens in Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List, I guess she’ll do fine.

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