Hey, Did I Just See Zach Galifianakis's Erect Penis In The Hangover?
If like me, you just returned from a midnight showing of The Hangover, then thereís only one question on your mind: Did I just see Zach Galifianakisís erect penis receiving oral sex from a Latin grandmother?
Ok, maybe that wasnít the first thing on your mind but it was the first thing on mine. During the closing credits (and donít worry if you havenít seen it, this isnít really a spoiler) weíre treated to photos showing what happened to The Hangover boys during their lost night. Several of those photos depict, rather graphically, bearded Mr. Galifianakisís erect penis in the hands and mouth of an aged hotel maid. After sitting through more than 90 minutes of nothing but manic debauchery and nude Asian gangsters, whatís the big deal? Hereís the deal: any depiction of erect male genitalia normally warrants an immediate NC-17 rating from the all-powerful MPAA, yet The Hangover stumbles drunkenly into theaters with a theatrically acceptable R-rating. Is this a groundbreaking moment? Did the guys at the MPPA finally take off their ties and embrace full-sized American manhood? Nope.
A few moments with Google and the always risky search terms of ďMPAAĒ and ďpenisĒ reveal that itís all a gag. That wasnít actually Galifianakisís penis, itís just a prosthetic. In an interview with Hollywood.com Zach comes clean. He says, ďAll of a sudden, youíre picking out rubber dildos [to find] which one to use, and thereís, like, nine of them. ĎI donít think thatís too ... I think that oneís too small ... and this one ...í So no, [the penis] wasnít mine.Ē Mystery solved.
Still, itís kind of amazing the MPAA let even that fly. The strap-on is incredibly real and the photographs are easily the most graphic things Iíve seen on an R-rated movie screen in years. Bogus boner or no, The Hangover is breaking new ground here. Maybe you donít actually have to show a woody to pave the way for more stiffies in the future. Itís happened before. Remember Star Trekís groundbreaking, first ever televised interracial kiss between Captain Kirk and Uhura? Never happened. If you pay attention to the shot, they never actually show their lips touching. The shot where they actually kiss wasn't used. Instead they chickened out and went with a different, kiss-free shot which faked the whole thing and pleased the censors. Yet even though they faked it, because to audiences it looked like it did happen, that one moment opened the door for real color-blind, on-screen relationships in the future. Or maybe this was just a stupid dildo in the end credits of a silly, raunch-com. Yeah, that seems more likely.
For those who havenít seen it, donít worry thereís still plenty of real penis for you elsewhere in The Hangover. The infamous Dr. Ken goes full frontal danglin' wang and itís a moment that must be eyeballed to be believed. Or if youíre boring, and thus not that interested in on screen trouser snakes, then see The Hangover because itís one of the funniest movies of the year. You can close your eyes during the penis parts.
Can I stop typing penis now? I feel like Iím reporting live from a Chippendales.
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