I've been so beaten down by all the news of Hollywood adapting beloved childhood properties that I've kind of come around to it. Sure, make a movie based on the game Battleship-- it probably won't be that bad. Remake Footloose! Go for it!

But sometimes there's movie news that defies all explanation, and for me, that's the news that Universal is planning to make a movie based on Where's Waldo, the completely plotless series of books in which you have to find a guy dressed in a red-striped sweater and a ski hat. That's like making a movie called I Spy that isn't based on the TV series. That's like making a feature version of Goodnight Moon. And for all I know, both of those projects are currently in development at some hellish studio.

Variety writes that the plan is to make a live-action family-friendly picture, and that Universal and Illumination Entertainment bought the book for somewhere close to seven figures. My guess is they'll turn Waldo into some kind of Inspector Clouseau-esque world traveler, who finds himself in big crowded situations and has to be found by, I don't know, someone like M? I'm making this up off the top of my head, but I guarantee you it's not that dissimilar to what's actually going to get made. I am so irrationally annoyed by everyone who's participating in this. I wasn't even that into Where's Waldo as a kid, but seriously, in some instances, an adaptation is really, really not called for.