I've made my feelings well-known on the subject of How to Talk to Girls, the book written by nine-year-old Alec Greven that will soon be a movie produced by Fox. The movie that gives me no reason to live is moving forward despite my despair, and now it has two screenwriters: Ben Karlin and Stu Zicherman.

Karlin and Zicherman, why must you magnify my pain? And really, THR, why must you insult me further by writing that Greven's original book is based on his "extensive experience on the playa-ground." Clearly everyone thinks this is a joke but me. Don't you realize stupid Alec Greven is putting us all out of work?

Karlin, for his part, is a former Daily Show writer and probably a smart guy, and Zicherman helped write Elektra, which does not bode well for him. I'd rather they help drag this entire project into hell, but I guess I can't begrudge them for taking work before an army of Alec Grevens renders us all obsolete.