I kind of figured that, after Speed Racer tanked so horribly, the Wachowskis wouldn't be allowed to make movies for at least a few more years. You know, give them time to wash the neon colors out of their brains and take different tack. But according to a pretty bizarre source--a German man who listened to a call-in radio show (and reported back to CHUD)-- the Wachowskis will again tackle a pre-existing character-- Plastic Man.

Yup, according to this random guy from Berlin, Joel Silver-- the frequent producing partner of the Wachowskis and pretty much their voice in the media-- said the trio is working on Plastic Man for a late 2009 release, with Keanu Reeves supposedly in the lead role. Oh, and the Wachowskis also want Reeves to be in all of their future movies-- because Matthew Fox in Speed Racer was apparently too emotive, and they want someone with an even more limited range of facial expressions.

Right now I'm calling a big fat foul on this story, mostly because it sounds like some German dude messing with us stupid Americans. I mean, that's fair, but we're entitled to be skeptical as long as humanly possible. If we're not, then we have to face a future in which Keanu Reeves plays a superhero who can transform into infinite shapes. Keanu Reeves is an actor who can barely crack a smile. This could be ugly. That is, if it were true. Which I can only assume, for my own sake, that it's not. Otherwise the future is just too bleak to contemplate.