Jennifer Garner To Play Miss Marple
Iím a pretty emotionally level person. There are very few things Iím invested in enough to fundamentally alter my mood, but Agatha Christie novels are one of the few sentiments I cling to. I grew up reading every one of her novels I could get my hands on. I watched all the films, the television shows and even read a biography chronicling that bizarre incident where she briefly disappeared. Itís a subject close to my heart; so, imagine my bewilderment when I read Ericís article earlier today telling me Disney was making a Miss Marple film in which they were reinterpreting the character as a thirty-something. Thatís right, shaving some thirty-five years off my favorite old woman to cater her to a new generation who apparently hates the elderly. Initially, I hoped maybe this was just some ludicrous pipe dream that would never make it to production, but now we have actual casting news. This bullshit is not going away, people.
According to Deadline, Jennifer Garner has officially boarded as this madeover Miss Marple. No offense to her, but what in Godís name is going on this afternoon? Why even make this a Miss Marple story? If you want to introduce a young and sassy female detective, why not make her Miss Marpleís great niece or some wily girl she gave piano lessons to back in the day?
Hereís a few more ideas straight out of this horrid bag of tricks. Letís do a Jaws where the shark is reinterpreted as a manatee who does tricks. Then when weíre done, letís do a James Bond set in a local high school in which 0-0-7 is his locker combination! Oh God, Iím cooking with gas now. How about a Home Alone reboot where Kevin canít find his wife at the Sandalsí pool?
The whole point of Miss Marple is that sheís a nice, disengaging old woman who can easily pry information out of suspects. Giving her sex appeal just meddles with the equation. Letís hope to God Twin Peaks co-creator Mark Frost has put more thought into this then it seems. Heís hard at work on the script as we speak, but beyond the basic premise, details are very scarce.
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