Call me crazy, but now seems like a spectacularly bad time to make a movie about how cute the United States military is. We have soldiers dying in Iraq and Afghanistan, the country is in political upheaval over an unpopular war, and Jessica Simpsons has decided to make the Legally Blonde version of In the Army Now. Following in the proud tradition of such awful movies as Major Payne and such television shows as Major Dad, it’s called Major Movie Star, and the film’s first trailer makes me want to throw up.

Major Movie Star features Jessica Simpson as a pampered movie star who joins the army in a moment of weakness, and then can’t get out of it. This isn’t in the trailer, but I’m going to go ahead and guess that at some point she gives her sergeant a makeover and from then on they become the bestest of friends. Jessica, give it up. Please.

Watch the trailer by clicking here. Right now Major Movie Star doesn’t have a release date. If we’re lucky, it’ll stay that way.