Alright, I’m reeling. Just utterly reeling. A few minutes ago I reported on the breaking news that comedic actor Simon Pegg had been cast as Scotty in Star Trek. On its own, that’s just slightly odd. A comedic actor as Scotty. Ok, strange, but maybe he can do drama. Or… maybe this is just one big Star Trek parody. Because now HR is reporting that John freakin Cho has been cast in the film as Sulu.

You know John Cho, that comedic actor from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and other assorted, much less funny comedies? Yeah, that guy is Sulu. Is it April Fools? Have I fallen into some sort of alternate dimension? Will Ben Stiller now be cast as Captain Kirk? Maybe Jason Alexander? He did play Captain Kirk in a skit on Thank God You’re here a few weeks ago. Maybe he’s qualified. What the heck is JJ Abrams up to? How can Eric Bana, Leonard Nimoy, Simon Pegg, and John Cho all be in the very same movie, a movie based on Star Trek?

This is either going to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to Star Trek or JJ Abrams is some sort of mad genius creating a masterpiece out of a bunch of freakish, ill-fitting parts. At least Pegg sort of looks like Scotty. The only thing about Cho that even remotely resembles Sulu is that he's from Asia. George Takei, who originally played Sulu, was Japanese. Cho is Korean and if there’s a less Sulu-like Asian actor out there, I haven’t seen him. Cho better get working on his abs if he wants to rip off his shirt and attack people with a sword on the Enterprise bridge. I look forward to Neil Patrick Harris’s cameo as a coke-snorting Klingon.