Back in September, Josh mentioned that Denzel Washington was probably going to star in a remake of The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three directed by Tony Scott. Unfortunately, Josh wasn’t nearly as pissed off as he should have been at this. I’ll make up for it now. My anger will be aided by the fact that John Travolta of Wild Hogs fame is set to join the cast, according to Variety.

I usually don’t give two craps if a remake, sequel, prequel, or reboot hits the screens. I think people who whine about it are missing the fact that they can ignore it enjoy the original all they want. It wasn’t burned or anything, the original movie still exists. I’m finding it hard to take my own advice.

The original Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three, about a gang of four men who hijack a New York City subway train for ransom, was the first “grown-up” movie I saw as a kid that I really liked and understood. I guess that is why this remake bothers more than usual. Walter Matthau’s transit detective was a genius mix of humor and world weariness. It’s probably his best performance. Denzel, a great actor, will play him like the guys he played in Inside Job or Crimson Tide turning this into a standard thriller. But the real shame is Travolta being in negotiation to play Mr. Blue. Robert Shaw played the role of the hijackers leader and was brilliant. John Travolta can’t hold Robert Shaw’s jockstrap. Imagine Kevin James playing Hamlet in a remake of the Laurence Olivier version and you have an idea of how I see this.

A script is reportedly done and production will probably start next year. For the love of Buddah, please do not go see this abomination. Instead, get on your Netflix queue and rent the original. See Hector Elizondo, Martin Balsam, and a pre-Home Improvement Earl Hindman as Shaw’s gang. Watch Matthau make fun of a contingent of Japanese officials who he thinks can’t speak English (something sure to be excised from the remake.) See a movie that has to be better than anything with John Travolta in it.