While I’m typing this, Matthew McConaughey is on the TV behind me with David Letterman, attempting to convince people that he’s made a good movie with Kate Hudson, which we should all run out and see this weekend. This is a little difficult to believe since, except for Almost Famous (in which she plays a comparatively minor role) Kate Hudson has never made a good movie, and if she were to make a good movie, I seriously doubt Matthew McConaughey would be the actor to elevate her out of suckdom. McConaughey cares about smoking pot and watching University of Texas football, if he ever cared about acting, he stopped a long time ago.

I think part of the problem with Kate is that for most of her career, she’s been content to follow the money. She rarely does anything that’s not a big budget, formula flick. It’s really all about getting a big paycheck with her. Maybe she’s getting as tired of her career as I am, because Variety says she’s signed up for an indie flick called Big Eyes about a painter. Unless there’s a cute kid being written into the script for her to interact with, this sounds weirdly unlike a Kate Hudson project.

Hudson will play painter Margaret Keane, the inventor of anime… or if not the inventor of anime at least one of the first people to draw creepy pictures of children with unnaturally large eyes back in the 50s. Apparently people latched onto them and a lot of money was made selling her big eyed kiddies. She was also involved in the feminist movement, so the film will follow her through that and a lawsuit against her husband who tried to steal all the credit for her work. If I was the one painting big-eyed kids I think I might have let him have it. Money’s nice, but self-respect is better.

I really hate this woman’s work, almost as much as I hate Kate Hudson’s work. I guess that makes this project a perfect fit. For examples of how much Margaret Keane sucked, I’ve dropped some of her creepy big-eyed paintings below: