Add Max Makowski to the list of people who apparently have no idea why the original Kung Fu worked. Variety says he’s been hired to helm a remake, big screen version of the now classic David Carradine powered Kung Fu franchise . Carradine by the way, is the reason Kung Fu is so much fun and he’s also the reason why the remake it doomed to suck.

Carradine is Kung Fu’s Bill Shatner. He’s cool. He’s beyond cool. Kung Fu is awesome because he’s awesome and without him… well there’s just nothing awesome about it. You can hire some bald-headed mystic to replace him, but without Carradine there simply is no Kwai Chang Caine and without the real Kwai Chang Caine, there is no movie. Getting dizzy? Good.

Not that this is likely to matter to Makowski, whose only notable previous credit is an episode of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy. For him, this is his big break and I don’t blame him for taking it. I just don’t want to watch it. Carradine is too old to do it, and so Kung Fu should cease to exist.

Like the original, this version of Kung Fu will likely be about a Shaolin monk forced to flee to the old west and use his martial arts skills against frontier evildoers. It’s kind of like Shanghai Noon, without the jokes. The new version is being shot in China and the script was originally written by Howard Friedlander and creator Ed Spielman and now being rewritten by Cory Goodman.