Is it April 1st and I just misplaced by calendar? Because I swear this is the kind of news we’d get on April Fools Day. Pranksters such as myself would love to propagate this kind of myth. But, since it’s not April, and this is being reported as news, I guess we’ll put this one out there too.

Britain’s Daily News is apparently putting out there that Paris Hilton, the celebrity who has done absolutely nothing notable with her life except finally spend a little time behind bars, is theoretically going to be the subject of a movie. According to the British press, "There have already been negotiations with a major film company to make the Paris Hilton biopic...”.

Okay. I’ll bite. She’s 26 years old. She’s put out an album or two, recorded several seasons of “The Simple Life” and gone to jail, which was heavily covered by the press. What is there to make a movie about that hasn’t already been heavily documented? I mean, hell, even the girl’s sex habits have been shown to the public. What the heck do we need some fictional adaptation for when we have the real thing right here? I swear, post-modernists would have a field day with this.

So, back to the rumormill – right now the frontrunner to play Paris is… not, Paris. Apparently fellow cocaine junkie Lindsay Lohan is being tossed around as a possible Paris. I guess that’s possible… as long as the movie is being filmed only while the two get along, which means having to take a break every other day or week or so.

Of course, what twenty-something mindless drama would be complete without the Pop Princess, Britney Spears involved as well. Rumor has it she’ll be singing on the soundtrack… right, because a movie that’s in negotiations is already starting to worry about the soundtrack. I can see why Britney would be enthusiastic to return a favor for all the advice Paris gave her post-divorce. Whose idea was it to run around to clubs commando anyway Brit?

As I said, this is highly improbable. You have personalities that don’t mesh being tossed around for a story that has nothing to be told. But, stranger things have happened. After all, Paris is still in the spotlight despite her vacuous contributions to society.