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Lindsay Lohan Versus Ebola WaterBy Josh Tyler: 2006-12-12 00:00:00
Well, it looks like Lindsay Lohan may have changed her mind about working for no-name directors. Dante Tomaselli isn’t exactly Steven Soderbergh, but according to Moviehole he has Lindsay up for a role in his next film.
Tomaselli is a low-budget horror director, and his next movie is The Ocean. It’s about riptides terrorizing a small coastal community. Now granted, my experience with riptides is limited mostly to episodes of ‘Baywatch’, but it seems to me if you’re having trouble with riptides you just leave your swimming trunks at home and stay out of the water. End of story… unless of course the riptide is full of Ebola, which apparently, this one is. That’s right, the water has Ebola and Tamaselli says, “It's a movie about killer waves and the cleansing of the earth's sins.” That sounds absolutely terrible, but I guess Lindsay Lohan sees something in it if she’s considering being in it. Or maybe she’s been doing X with the director. She can’t be banging him, because if she were then she’d probably merit better than just a co-starring role. That’s right, Dante says she’ll only co-star in the movie. The biggest names currently attached are Margot Kidder and Vincent Pastore; you’d think Lindsay friggin Lohan would rate top billing, but not so. Her co-starring part would have her playing a bikini-clad, post-smoking, surfer girl with family problems. I can see the movie’s big finale now: Lindsay Lohan on a surfboard trying to outrun the Ebola wave and warn the President. Seriously this may be the worst movie idea ever… except for the part where Lindsay Lohan is in a bikini.
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