I'm suddenly very afraid. Apparently, Modonna is in talks with producers to make a film about one of her ex-boyfriends. Holy shit, if Madonna can make a movie about an old flame, what’s stopping other exes from airing grievances on the silver screen? How many scorned lovers would flock to the theaters to witness the humiliation of a lost love?

Wait. Calm down. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. After all, the old lover Modonna is talking about is Chris Paciello, who has been convicted of criminal charges three times and served time for murder. I’ve never do anything remotely that interesting!

"She's back in touch with her old flame Chris. He led Madonna astray in 1992/3 and most of her friends were unhappy about their relationship at the time. She has met him three times to thrash out a deal - first when she went to LA for the Academy Awards, then twice in New York, including her most recent trip there last month,” said a source from the British newspaper The Sun. [sarcasm] Always reliable [/sarcasm]. "There is no romance. She is desperately keen to produce a film based on the book “Mob Over Miami” about him. She has always been fascinated by tough guys and loves his story."

Well with a title like “Mob Over Miami” and a trailer cut to the Bobby Darin classic “Mack the Knife” you’ve got your over 60 crowd in the bag. It’s probably safe to file this one under Never Going to Happen.