Aaron Joseph Purmort was aware that his fight with cancer was coming to a sad end when he decided to write his own obituary. But rather than writing a solemn farewell to his family and friends, the 35-year-old decided to take this time to posthumously reveal that he was in fact Spider-Man.
Aaron Purmort’s touching yet still preposterously funny obituary can be read in its entirety below. And if you don’t feel a tinge of emotion while reading it then there is either something seriously wrong with you or you’re a robot.
"Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate). Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party. He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death."
Aaron Joseph Purmort was a husband and father who succumbed to brain cancer last week after a three-year battle with the disease. Purmort was originally diagnosed back in 2011. Nora Purmort revealed that he valiantly stood toe-to-toe with the cancer and remained positive despite all of the pain and suffering that he was clearly going through.
Nora Purmort even documented her husband’s battle in her blog, My Husband’s Tumor, which she insists is "not a cancer story" but rather "a love story. With some cancer." Aaron Joseph Purmort’s sublime obituary is a reminder of how the world can sometimes be a downright cruel and crappy place, but that when all is said and done, people are the cure to its problems. And we obviously just lost a contagiously uplifting, witty and all-round good member of our tribe. Our hearts go out to his family.
Photo Courtesy Of My Husband's Tumor.
