The Mjolnir Games: Ranking The Avengers In Order Of Worthiness
Now that Comic-Con is over, it's time to do that thing we love the most: talk about Comic-Con. More specifically, in this case, there's a question that's been lingering in the air ever since The Avengers: Age Of Ultron ran its reel of preview footage. When The Avengers each try to pick up Mjolnir, there are varying and humorous ways in which each of them fails. But what if the hammer had to find a new home within the super group? Who would be full of the right stuff to hammer out evil, and who'd be (spoiler alert) left home ironing?
For each of the Avengers, we'll be rating them on a scale from one to five, one being the worst and 5 being the most worthy, in three different categories: Moral Compass, Selflessness, and Strength. Adding each of those scores together (on a scale of 15), we'll be ranking the group from least- to most-worthy of the honors, with a bonus round of grab bag characters from outside of The Avengers (and even a possible villain or two that will be free of rating).
No need to break out the calculators. We've done all of the math for you fine folks at home! So now, without further delay, let's start our rankings with the hero least fit to wield Mjolnir...
Tony Stark/Iron ManMoral Compass:If there were any Avenger that were least fit to take on the responsibilities of Thor's almighty hammer, it'd be Stark himself. His moral compass, while on a much better keel than it was the first three or so decades of his life, had an absolutely horrible rating before he even dreamed of becoming Iron Man. The women, the alcohol, the blind eye towards global conflict while he got rich enough to indulge in the first two even more... these pretty much take Tony out of the running for at least a decade or so of personal growth. Rating: 1/5
Selflessness: Speaking of personal growth, Tony Stark only ever became Iron Man because he was saving himself from the Ten Rings terrorist cell. Every improvement he's made to the armor between Iron Man and Iron Man 2 has been to keep himself alive, and to be faster and stronger. While he starts to take the world's needs into consideration, his egoism still outweighs his heroism. He's working on fixing that pretty effectively, and becoming a benefactor/believer in the Avengers Initiative (a program he barely made it into) is a good step forward. Still, it's going to take some soul searching before Tony even thinks he's ready for hammer time. Rating: 2/5
Strength: Here's a weakness that isn't Tony's fault, as a human can only be so strong. While Stark is in top fighting shape, he doesn't rely on his physique to power him through a fight. That's the advantage of having a suit propelled by Repulsor Ray technology, but it's also the disadvantage as he needs his suit to fight any sort of physical threat. Thor's strength Rating: 2/5
Final Assessment: Tony Stark is the least worthy wielder of Mjolnir. It's OK, Tony. You wouldn't have liked Asgard anyway. There are too many rules, the women are more than likely immune to your charm (and DEFINITELY stronger than you), and you'd be wearing a set of those drapes you've mocked yourself. Final Rating: 5/15
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