In other breaking news figured out using just a little common sense: the sun burns your skin. A study published in Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, found a correlation between kids watching R-rated movies at a young age, and those same kids pounding brews at keggers not too much later in life. Is this really that surprising? Or is it even really a causality?

Is the solution to stop making R-rated movies? Of course not. It’s to get parents to step up and start giving a sh$#t. I’ll save other researchers a bunch of time and energy. Don’t even sweat the R-rated part of the movies. Parents that are letting their kids watch the American Pie movies at the age of four most likely aren’t taking the time to check up on other things like smoking, staying out late, cursing, having sex, throwing parties, doing drugs and whatever else. The R-rated movies don’t help, but they certainly aren’t the cause.

Here is a quote from the study:

3 percent of the kids who said their parents never allowed them to watch R-rated movies said they had started drinking alcohol, compared with 19 percent of those who were sometimes allowed to watch R-rated movies and 25 percent of those who said they were allowed to watch such movies "all the time."

Now let’s do a little mad libs with those percentages. Tell me if this makes sense:

3 percent of the kids who said their parents were deadbeats said they had started drinking alcohol, compared with... 25 percent of those who said they were allowed to do whatever the f$#%k they wanted "all the time."