It looks like the Magnum P.I. movie may have some heat again. After the news earlier this year that Tom Selleck wanted nothing to do with the proposed comedic parody theatrical version of his much beloved 80s television show, interest seemed to drop off drastically because, well, he’s right. It’s ridiculous the way Hollywood has taken so many 80s favorites and turned them all into running jokes. But get ready for the Magnum madness to start again if this is true. Celebrity news syndicator Bang International is sending out a story which says that Nicolas Cage is being set up to star in the TV to movie translation as Thomas Magnum.

Word is that he’s currently in talks to take on the part after “being impressed by the script, which has an even balance of comedy and crime-solving.” That sounds a little better than the parody monstrosity some had begun to believe the movie would be, but what the heck is Nic Cage doing playing Thomas Magnum? The guy can’t even grow a decent mustache, let alone fit into a pair of short shorts. Do Magnum P.I. fans want a bald, bony, geeky Thomas? Somehow I doubt it. What happened to the uber-manly, roguish ladies man?

Before this, everyone from Matthew McConaughey to Ben Affleck has been rumored to be up for the part. However, unless they wise up and bring back Selleck or somehow talk George Clooney into doing it, the best thing that could happen to this project is a sudden and certain death. We’re better off without Cage and his stick-on mustache.