One Sheet Wonders

Posters exist for movies that are coming out some time soon. We have them. We keep them to ourselves, but take pictures of them to prove to you that they actually exist. Then I make fun of them. This week we make over the top comments about Hitler and prepare for your hate mail.

The Chronicles of Narnia is a fantastic and unique set of fantasy books, which most kids read while hiding from bullies in the Junior High library. But everything about this teaser screams Lord of the Rings ripoff. The background chosen for this poster looks exactly like a scenery shot from Lord of the Rings. In fact I'd swear I saw this exact shot on the Two Towers Extended Edition DVD. New Zealand isn't the only place you can film fantasy movies. C.S. Lewis' masterpiece deserves its own place in the sun.

The best thing about this movie is not the underage leggage on display in this poster. I'm sick of seeings sexed up High School girls. I don't know who to ogle anymore. The only thing worth remembering about Mean Girls is that it was written by "Weekend Update's" sexy news goddess Tina Fey. No, there is not a Bill Murray cameo.

This is the most appropriate poster I've ever seen. Kudos to the folks at Ella Enchanted for being unafraid to openly display just how bad their movie will be. As the poster clearly indicates, the only way you'll enjoy it is if you get "enchanted." We all know what that's code for, now don't me? Pass the magic mushrooms.

A bleak, washed out poster for the end of the world. Nicely done. It took Hitler years to kill millions. Roland Emmerich kills billions at least once a year. Here's hope the architect of disaster greats like Independence Day can get back to form with The Day After Tomorrow. What this poster really needs is Will Ferrell in full Elf garb building a ginormous snowman about an inch to the left of the city.

 

Yes that's John Travolta in the first poster. No he is not ripping off The Matrix by wearing black. He'll probably suck all on his own. On the right you've got Thomas Jane, in full Punisher garb, begging for your dollars. What gets me is that the movie is set in Miami, yet both Travolta and Jane insist on wearing heavy coats. Just imagine the sweat stains.

Report by: Joshua Tyler