Happy Oscar Weekend, everybody! Aren't you excited? Of course, 99.9% of us won't be spending the weekend trying on glamorous dresses, attending pre-parties and starving ourselves to be camera-ready, but by Sunday night we'll be totally obsessing over the people who are, watching the Oscars for the awards, the fashions, or the remote possibility of a disaster. I can't wait.

And to prepare you for your party's Oscar pool, here they are, my final batch of Oscar predictions. The top six categories are among the easiest to predict this year, though two of the races are likely closer than they appear-- and one of them is for Best Picture. Read below for my best guesses, and as always, don't take these too seriously. I'm no Oscar expert, just someone who's been paying attention to this silly race since last September. Happy viewing!

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Most people have had Waltz in line for this statue since Cannes last May, and although some vague threats have popped up on the sidelines-- Woody Harrelson is due! Stanley Tucci is due! Christopher Plummer is really due!-- Waltz's way to the podium remains clear. As much as we all liked him as Nazi, think of how happy we'll all be to see this humble Austrian character actor take home the gold.
And the winner is: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo'nique, Precious

The only person with a clearer path to Oscar this year has been Mo'nique, whose titanic performance is unmatched in this or pretty much any year. Campaign hijinks aside, Mo'nique delivered on this performance so much that we've all run out of positive things to say. Just give her the statue.
And the winner is: Mo'nique, Precious


BEST ACTRESS
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

This is the trickiest acting category to call by far, and throughout the year four of the five nominees have had reasonable claims at frontrunner status (sorry, Helen Mirren-- you are the also-ran in this case). I'm privately pulling for a Gabourey Sidibe upset, and it's not totally out of the question, but really this a race between Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep in which Bullock has the edge. Just look at their respective films-- The Blind Side got the Best Picture nod, and Julie & Julia did not. Much as we may not want to admit it, the race was pretty much called right there.
And the winner is: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side


BEST ACTOR
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

To know who will win this category, pick up The Big Lebowski, think about how much you love The Dude, and apply that feeling to every critic and awards voter in the world. Bridges has been sucking up every ounce of attention possible ever since Crazy Heart debuted late last year, and it would have taken something truly tremendous-- Colin Firth dying, or Morgan Freeman rescuing an orphan, or something-- to change that. I can't wait to see his acceptance speech.
And the winner is: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart


BEST DIRECTOR
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Lee Daniels, Precious
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air

There are frontrunners, and then there's Kathryn Bigelow, who will most assuredly make history as the first-ever female Best Director winner. Anyone who thinks this can happen otherwise is clearly a Na'vi.
And the winner is: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker


BEST PICTURE
Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

Oh boy. We've got three plausible winners here. In one corner, the gritty war movie that's won every conceivable critic's award but only grossed $13 million in theaters. And then there's the juggernaut blockbusters with its own share of critical awards but a whole lot of critics pooh-poohing it. Finally there's Inglourious Basterds, the most unexpected but maybe the most satisfying possible winner. Despite the critical plaudits for The Hurt Locker and Bigelow's guaranteed win, I still see this going to Avatar-- like Titanic before it, it's just too big to ignore.
And the winner is: Avatar