Parental Guidance Suggests You Don't Cross the Streams. It Would Be Bad.
I would really like to thank the hundreds of comments in support of the debut of Parental Guidance. It's nice to share these positive comments with my daughter who is far more important to this column than I am. If you missed the first Parental Guidance, basically, the idea for the column came from me wanting to spend more time with my oldest daughter. I concocted a plan to make my 15 year old daughter, Allie, watch movies of my choice. Thankfully, she was all for it. She's a beautiful, brilliant, cool kid. Yet she needed to beef up her cinematic acumen so to speak. Seriously, read the first column for a much better feel for what Parental Guidance is about.
Besides the positive comments for the first column, one comment stood out. A teenager took umbrage when I said that teens have sucky taste in music and movies normally. Well get over it, kid. 90% of teens have bad taste in music and movies. I counted. It's okay, so did I. I saw Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo IN THE THEATER. People were breakdancing in the aisle for god's sake. I also remember owning the Milli Vanilli CD. So there. Stop your whining about my generalizations about teenagers. There are plenty more coming.
I live in a house with 4 women (wife and 3 daughters for the mathematically disadvantaged) and a toddler-sized natural disaster we named Garrett. Garrett and I had just came in from organizing our barn that we plan to use for storing Walkers after the zombie apocalypse.
As soon as we enter the dining room, I hear my wife and Allie discussing their June "girl's trip" to St. Augustine, Florida. They both love history so I hear them chatting about visiting Castillo de San Marcos, Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine, etc. I'm feeling mighty proud as a husband and a father. Then, I hear my wife say "oooh, we should also go on ghost tours." Immediately, all love of history is seemingly forgotten as I imagine hundreds of dollars being wasted on tour guides with a faulty flashlight screaming out "Did you see that?" roughly every 3 minutes.
Freaking fake ghost tours.
After a failed attempt at suggesting Flagler College and Lightner Museum would be much better than walking around like an idiot looking for imaginary ghosts, inspiration struck me for the 2nd edition of Parental Guidance.
Every week, I will ask Allie a few questions about Allie's knowledge of the movie we are about to see. Each movie we watch will be the first time she's seen the movie.
Allie, have you ever heard of Ghostbusters?Yes, there is a dance for it on Just Dance 2014!.
This is not starting off well, kiddo. Have you at least heard of Bill Murray?Yes, Daddy! Bill Murray was in Groundhog Day. I love that movie! "Ned Ryerson? BING!" Oh and he was on Saturday Night Live. I've watched a lot of the old seasons.
Not bad. Not bad. I had forgotten you had seen Groundhog Day and 10 points to Hufflepuff for knowing Ned Ryerson. But it's time to get serious. Do you believe in ghosts? Be honest. Yes, I will mock you.First of all, I'm Ravenclaw. But yes, I believe in ghosts. Um, have you heard that story Mom tells about when she was living in Japan? Heck yes there are ghosts, old man. Open your eyes!
My wife's bad influence on Allie strikes again.
With that out of the way, we scheduled our viewing of Ghostbusters for the weekend. As part of Parental Guidance, I will also ask Allie a few standard questions to just give you her frame of mind leading into the movie.
This article was first published on March 1, 2014 and was last updated on April 27, 2014.
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