The 34th Annual People’s Choice Awards were presented tonight, in a writerless, televised broadcast that mostly amounted to a clips show. Hosted by Queen Latifah (always a sure sign of quality) in an empty studio, the evening was an endless string of boring clips and bad graphics. I’d like to take a moment to thank the Golden Globes for sparing us all the misery of sitting through this type of broadcast. As it turns out, canceling the whole thing was the right decision.

Ceremony may have been missing from America’s annual celebration of its own stupidity, but they handed out awards anyway. Sorry if I seem a bit negative here, but it’s just such a pointless award. Audiences have already voted, they did so at the box office. There’s no real reason for People’s Choice to exist, except as a way for some television network to sell advertising based on the ratings they’ll get from making people feel better about paying to watch terrible Pirates movies. For those of you lucky enough to miss the telecast, here’s a full breakdown of the evening’s PCA winners, complete with their usual bunch of confusing and utterly meaningless categories:



Favorite Female Movie Star
Reese Witherspoon

Favorite Male Movie Star
Johnny Depp

Favorite Leading Lady
Drew Barrymore

Favorite Leading Man
Joaquin Phoenix

Favorite Female Action Star
Keira Knightley

Favorite Male Action Star
Matt Damon

Favorite On Screen Match-up
George Clooney & Brad Pitt, Ocean's Thirteen

Favorite Movie
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Favorite Movie Drama
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Favorite Action Movie
The Bourne Ultimatum

Favorite Movie Comedy
Knocked Up

Favorite Family Movie
Shrek the Third

Favorite Threequel
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Favorite Independent Movie
Becoming Jane

CLICK HERE FOR TELEVISION CATEGORY WINNERS

CLICK HERE FOR MUSIC CATEGORY WINNERS

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