People who complain about the state of modern horror will often point to Suspiria, the 1977 Dario Agento movie, as an example of how to do it right. So the horror purists will either be horrified or totally excited to hear that Suspiria, like everything else these days, is heading for a remake, with some pretty unexpected names attached.

Bloody Digusting is reporting that Natalie Portman will take the lead role in the remake, which David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) is planning to direct. Portman's Handsome Charlie Films would produce, which means the actress would produce as well as star.

Jessica Harper originated the lead role in Suspiria, Suzy Bannion, an American ballet dancer who travels to Europe to attend a prestigious dance school. Years before Europeans really and truly hated Americans, though, she learns her lesson about traveling abroad when it turns out the dance school is run by a coven of witches. Double double, toil and tour jete?

Sorry, I couldn't resist. I can't really wrap my head around the idea of this movie-- even the David Gordon Green-Natalie Portman combination confuses me, and the whole Argento angle just confuses things even more. I have a feeling the Suspiria fans are ready to cry foul and refuse to see the movie, but Green has done so much interesting work in the past that it seems worth a shot. Plus, if you thought Portman was badass in that SNL short, just wait 'til you see her fight supernatural forces.