At least once a week there is a story about a movie going into production that makes me feel like it is time to start forgetting about Hollywood, thinking that there must be a better way to spend my time. Fortunately, these stories are often balanced, the ying to the yang if you will, by others that simply make me look at the movie industry like a three year old who has just spilled a glass of milk – while it’s bad behavior, it is so insignificant that it is kind of cute. This is one of those stories.

According to Variety, Rachel Nichols, of G.I. Joe and Alias fame, has been signed on to a film called The Loop, where she will play a librarian named Fiona who “joins a highway patrolman to uncover the mysteries behind the cryptic sayings spoken by an ancient parrot.” And...wow.

It goes without saying that this will probably end up being one of the dumber projects that will be coming out in the next year or so, but there is just so much to have fun with here: is the parrot perpetually covered in dust? Does the parrot speak in stereotypical black slang like Mudflap and Skids? Do they have to give it a cracker before getting to the next mystery? Someone call Jerry Bruckheimer: they’re making his next film without him.