Rant: JLA Movie Is A Waste Of Time

By Josh Tyler: 2007-10-19 03:45:30

Another stack of Justice League of America casting rumors broke out on the internet tonight like a pimply rash of wild speculation. Sorry, I just can’t work up the lemony zest necessary to cover them until there’s something official. I’m burned out on it, and I don’t think I’m the only one. Instead, let’s hit the movie with our x-ray vision and talk about why this JLA is such a colossal waste of time. Hey Warner Brothers, it’s not too late. Drop this mess in the making while you still can!

Here’s the kryptonite as I see it: There’s no way JLA can be any good. Yeah, we don’t really know anything about it yet. We know which characters will be in it, but there’s no cast. We know there’s a script, but not for certain what it’s about. There are rumors that it’s awful, but until we know for certain whether there’s any substance to them let’s not waste brain power on the consideration of gossip. The problem isn’t any of these things, it’s all about numbers.

To be a JLA movie, the film needs to have multiple superheroes in it. In this case, we’re getting Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and the Martian Manhunter. It’s also safe to assume there will be super-villains, but at the least we know it’ll have those seven superheroes with major roles in the film. Has anyone considered the effects budget??

It cost Bryan Singer a staggering $270 million to make Superman fly realistically into theaters. It cost Christopher Nolan $150 million to make Batman look real in his Begins movie. In each case, they only had to work on special effects for one set of superpowers. Singer developed all kinds of specialty gadgets to make Superman look like he’s really flying, or that he really has super-strength. He developed tools specific to each of Superman’s effects, and it worked. Superman looked real on screen. It also cost a fortune.

JLA is seven Supermans all in one movie. To deliver the kind of high-quality superpower effects we got in movies like Superman and Batman, how much do you think it’ll cost? $100 million per superhero? $200 million per superhero? Wonder Woman shares some powers in common with Superman, so maybe they can fudge there and share special effects between them. But The Flash’s super-speed has never really been done on screen before. They’ll have to come up with something entirely new to do that. Green Lantern’s effects will be a nightmare… he can create anything out of thin air. Aquaman is going to require lavish underwater sets and tons of live and CGI marine creatures to interact with. The Martian Manhunter can turn invisible and walk through walls. Every superhero will require special sets and special, unique effects to realize them on screen and to do it right in a live action movie it’s going to cost a fortune. $500 million? $700 million? No studio is going to spend that.

Instead, Warner Brothers is likely to go no higher than $200 million, which sounds like a lot until you consider the above. There’s no way they can possibly do this movie right on the same sort of budget used on single hero, superhero films. Warners has no choice but to the movie on the cheap… except in this case on the cheap means hundreds of millions of dollars.

Impossible. This movie will never be able to stand up to the kind of quality experience we’ve gotten from Hollywood’s best superhero films. If we’re lucky, we’ll be getting something on the mediocre level of The Fantastic Four. Or worse, we’re getting X-Men 3; a movie where instead of showing cool battles, the superheroes all sort of stand around staring and throwing random beams of energy at one another. At least the X-Men all have only one power each. Cyclops shoots energy, Professor X thinks really hard, Storm shot lighting. That’s easy compared to what JLA is in for with multi-powered, titan-like superheroes, and even the X-Men franchise didn’t seem to be able to handle the effects as the cast grew and things spun out of control in the last film. It took all Magneto’s power to lift a bridge; Superman bench-presses the Statue of Liberty every day before breakfast.

Maybe the script will be brilliant, maybe the cast will be stacked with completely unknown (and very cheap) but incredibly talented actors. Great. But this is a superhero movie and if we’re going to throw all these great, iconic characters into a pot then fans are going to expect something massive.

Let’s get something straight: Justice League is not some complicated, Shakespearean superhero allegory. It’s not a deep, relationship movie about the bonds of brotherhood and family. That’s just not a part of this property. There’s one reason and one reason only for it to exist: To deliver an orgy of incredible superpowers. There’s no other reason for anyone to buy a ticket for it. We want to watch The Flash racing Superman! Wonder Woman deflecting bullets! Aquaman calling the creatures of the deep into battle! I want to see Martian Manhunter levitate Aquaman’s whales and throw them at his enemies like giant, squirting torpedoes!! If we can’t really get all of that, then what’s the point in doing it? JLA should be a superhero, superpower orgasm… or why bother?

Of course there’s a way Warners could have delivered that sticky, crazy-powers, fanboy fun. Making this an all CGI movie in the mold of The Incredibles would have given them the freedom to do anything they want within a very reasonable budget. That didn’t happen, and as long as JLA is live action there’s a gigantic cap on how much they can do with it. I don’t think it’s going to be enough. Time to tone down all the hype and lower your expectations. Brace yourselves for long speeches instead of long fights and extreme close-ups instead of sweet, sexy, wide shots. If we're really lucky maybe they'll battle in their hearts or perhaps the bad guys can be defeated by a game of Parcheesi. Anyone for JLA chess?

RELATED: rant, jla, superhero, superman, batman

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Kris Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 13:05
Id be more scared if it ended up like a 2hr version of Smallville. Granted Smallville is only a TV show with a comparatively moderate budget and limited resources which works, to some degree, as a TV show. In a way I can only imagine even with a 200mil budget, well get the Smallville-esque version of the JLA (with matching hooded costumes, blech) on the big screen. Im scared, very scared.

Slip the slop slap slap slapper Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 13:05
A couple of small points. Firstly Superman Returns didn't cost the figure quoted to make the film, that figure included all the previous failed attempts to restart the franchise. Secondly you fail to mention that Singer also brought X-Men to the big screen which, like thw JLA, featured a whole cast of Superheroes. I'd also assume that WB owns the rights to the technology used on Superman and Batman and can employ these to some extent in the JLA movie.

JoshT Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 13:06
No SlipSlop... I mentioned X-Men. Read again.

Drake Haven Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 13:06
You are so right!!.. CGI would be the ultimate way to display the characters as needed. I had great expectations once the movie was announced. Now, like you, I have lowered my expectations thinking this will be the biggest kick in the crotch, the comic to movie scene has seen. Well maybe better than catwoman....
DH

Great White Snark Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 13:08
You nailed it. This fanboy is skeptical, at best. How can you not be, when one member of the first writing duo put on the project was best known for his work guest-starring on a string of CBS snoozers like Navy NCIS, Judging Amy, The Guardian, Touched by an Angel, and Nash Bridges. Seriously.

Johnny 5 Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 17:13
All issues of script and casting aside. This movie will require a large budget, but nowhere near as large as everyone is postulating. A special effects budget does not double merely because you have 2 heroes with the same amount of godlike super powers. This means that 1 Superman at $100 million dollars doesn't mean 7 Supermen will cost $700 million. Companies bid and argue over pricing, and decide on a figure that works for everyone. Look at the Lord of the rings Trilogy. The CGI in that was staggering, and although most of it was at ground level, it doesn't mean that to put someone in the air flying is automatically going to raise the price tag by another $300 million.

In the long run, right now I would be most worried about quality of script and casting.

Akuma Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 18:15
See here's the problem with today's movie goer mentality, if it's not CGI laden it's going to suck. First off the entire movie being good hinges on "story" not effects. Be more worried that the story is going to suck than the fact that the CGI is gonna be too expensive. Hollywood will find a way to make it affordable for their investors.

Look at X-men. Multiple powers, a super team movie, base of operations and a group vehicle not unlike Wonder Woman's jet and it was done well enough that the movie went over well and spawned a franchise. It had just as many practical effects as CGI effects and it worked!

Justice League can be done. What Warner needs to do is find no name actors to keep costs low. They can always pay them with backend deals if the movie does well. They then pour money into the effects and use a "300" type mentality and build sets that when shot from different angles look different enough to use for multiple shots/locations. Also, take into account that whatever effects Singer's people developed for his movie, now cost less to accomplish than they did before.

It can be done.

JoshT Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 18:22
AKUMA SAYS: See here's the problem with today's movie goer mentality, if it's not CGI laden it's going to suck. First off the entire movie being good hinges on "story" not effects. Be more worried that the story is going to suck than the fact that the CGI is gonna be too expensive. Hollywood will find a way to make it affordable for their investors.

Normally I'd agree with you, but in this case I don't. As I said in my rant... Justice League isn't about story. There's no grand, deep, moving story to be told here. The ONLY reason for this movie to exist is to throw a bunch of superheroes in a pot together and let them go at it. Big effects are the ONLY reason for the film to exist.

I'm not worried that the story is going to suck... the story is irrelevant. It's Justice League. Let's not kid ourselves that there's a great story to be told here.

AKUMA SAYS: Look at X-men. Multiple powers, a super team movie, base of operations and a group vehicle not unlike Wonder Woman's jet and it was done well enough that the movie went over well and spawned a franchise. It had just as many practical effects as CGI effects and it worked!

I addressed X-Men in the above as well. The powers of the X-Men characters don't even approach the level of the stuff even one member of the Justice League can do. And frankly, most of the stuff in X-men was never that mind blowing. Except in the case of X-men it doesn't matter. The characters powers are simpler and the film is carried by a great story with modern, relevant subtext.

The X-Men movie with the most characters in it had the worst effects. X3 basically amounted to a bunch of people standing around throwing beams of light at each other. They had ONE big effect... the bridge. The rest was all really toned down, incredibly boring stuff, most likely because they didn't want to spend the money to do it right. I fully expect Justice League to be exactly like X3... and to suck.

AKUMA SAYS: Justice League can be done. What Warner needs to do is find no name actors to keep costs low. They can always pay them with backend deals if the movie does well. They then pour money into the effects and use a "300" type mentality and build sets that when shot from different angles look different enough to use for multiple shots/locations. Also, take into account that whatever effects Singer's people developed for his movie, now cost less to accomplish than they did before.

I agree it can be done, and I think it'll be done exactly the way you outline... on the cheap. And since the only reason to see this stupid movie is for eyepopping effects... well on the cheap just isn't going to cut it.

Thus, JLA is a tremendous waste of time.

Rorschach Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 18:31
"But The Flash’s super-speed has never really been done on screen before. "

Uhhhh... the small screen - with 20 something episodes of a live-action series appropriately called "The Flash", and about every episode of Smallville has a super-speed effect in it. There are even two episodes of Smallville with "The Flash" AND super-speed action.

JoshT Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 18:33
RORSCHACH SAYS: Uhhhh... the small screen - with 20 something episodes of a live-action series appropriately called "The Flash", and about every episode of Smallville has a super-speed effect in it. There are even two episodes of Smallville with "The Flash" AND super-speed action.

Screen means movie. Not television shows with really really awful special effects. Sorry, those effects won't cut it, and if it really looks like that in the movie then that's exactly what I'm talking about. They're doing it on the cheap. Yes, they could use those same lame, TV special effects in the movie. And then the movie will be awful.

Rorschach Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 19:27
"Screen means movie. Not television shows with really really awful special effects."

You've never called it a TV 'Screen'? Seriously though, I can suspend my disbelief if the story and acting are good. Look at Star Wars (A New Hope) - great effects for it's time, but total rubbish by todays standards, yet the movie is still entirely enjoyable today. Same principle with video games - all the eye candy in the world can't help bad game play. The effects in Smallville are really pretty damn good - especially when you compare it to The 1990 series 'The Flash'. Super-speed was on 'screen' in 'The Incredibles' - re: Dash

JoshT Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 19:30
RORSCHACH SAYS: Super-speed was on 'screen' in 'The Incredibles' - re: Dash

Yes it was. And like I said, that's how they should be doing JLA. As an animated movie. Animated movie and live action movie, two entirely different things.

RORSCHACH SAYS: Look at Star Wars (A New Hope) - great effects for it's time, but total rubbish by todays standards, yet the movie is still entirely enjoyable today. Same principle with video games - all the eye candy in the world can't help bad game play.

JLA is not Star Wars. Star Wars has a story. JLA is superhero porn. As for videogames... all the great story in the world can't save a videogame with bad gameplay.

JD Says:
October 20th, 2007 at 02:53
When I first read about this movie, I was under the impression it was going to be motion capture/cgi, and I haven't yet read anything to the contrary (other than this page). Has anyone else heard this or was it just a rumour?

JoshT Says:
October 20th, 2007 at 02:54
JD, the idea that was animated was just a rumor. Since then they've come out and said it will be live action. But, it's still early so it's possible that plan could change. For now though, they're talking live action.

Johnny 5 Says:
October 20th, 2007 at 13:20
You keep saying that JLA doesn't have a story. Although many of the stories over the years may be fluff. What is to keep writers from putting together a great story. Just because Special effects need to be an integral part of the movie, and traditionally the storylines haven't been that deep, that does not preclude writers from putting a high quality story and script out there. I'm also pretty sure that no one is going to complain if we get a script with some depth. Your video game analogy, concerning that all the great story in the world doesn't make up for lousy gameplay is definitely true, but the same holds for special effects. I don't care how good they are. After 2 hours they get pretty boring if there's no decent story to hold them together.

Kris Says:
October 22nd, 2007 at 13:08
Wow, lots of talk. Lets be fair here, JLA must have some crazy awesome special effects to really be a hit, but unlike some films, the story shouldnt be built around the effects, it should be vice versa. They need to start basic what happens when you put a group pf people together, people with different personalities, strengths and weaknesses together, and try to ge tthem to fight crime? There should be discontent, disagreements, fights and mistakes, the story should be entirely human to start, THEN start adding in the superhero factor. Show the human side of Wonder Woman then show how an Amazonian Princess would react, show Martian Manhunter as an outsider who may not be totally accepted by the group, alienated. Thats what worked about Spiderman, it wasnt about Spidey and his powers, it was about a boy named Peter, who found himself saddled with great responsability, so should JLA.

Johnny 5 Says:
October 23rd, 2007 at 15:05
Kris you're bang on. First and foremost we have to keep the human element at the forefront.

DaftRabbit Says:
October 27th, 2007 at 13:07
I think Kris made some great points, but I cannot fault JoshT for his thinking. I am really on the fance on this one because, me personally, I love great character stories, but I grew up a big Star Wars fan, so yes the action and effects were important to me. Then Lucas dumped the prequels on us, and eh, instead of going on a rant about that, I'll keep it short and say I was slightly disappointed... and for the main reason that it was weak characters and big effects. Now I am reading the New Jedi Order series... tons of great characters, with ties between friends, families, lovers, factions, etc, etc. It's great, what Star Wars should be. So I've become more of a character fan first lately.

HAVING SAID THAT... JoshT has every right to expect this to be Super-Hero-Ecstacsy, and so should every other huge comic/action/sci-fi fan. And here's why... it's about freakin' time.

Every comic/superhero movie going back the last couple years has usually had a decent story with decent (but not expectation-achieving) effects. But later on in the schools and bars and places of work, everyone talks about how the movie was cool, BUT... and then they ramble on about how it should have LOOKED like this or they should have DONE that. Let's own up to it: everyone wishes that all these movies (Superman Returns, X-Men series, to name a few) - had all been a little something more, at least in the action/effects department. I also have to agree that I'm sick of close-up fights where there may be something cool going on but you'd never know it because you can't see jack. This happens a lot in sword fight scenes too, ugh.

Oh, and just to get it off my chest, in the latest Spiderman flick, was the lack of Venom's time in the movie the worst Hollywood tease ever??? You advertise spidey and venom for months, then release a film about... the SANDMAN. Don't get me worng, I loved his story (and the actor...drat forgot his name but he's good). BUT, it was supposed to be about Venom and Spidey!!! HEY HOLLYWOOD! From now on (unless it's a JLA movie), leave the multiple heros/villians concept under the doormat where it belongs! (it's what, with the help of J. Schoemaker, killed the first Batman franchise... thank god for the recent redo).

Steve Says:
October 30th, 2007 at 01:09
You mentioned Aquaman and, to the best of my knowledge, he's not included in the film. That's big savings in budget right there!! Also, although you make interesting points, I think it's way to early to declare the movie a disaster. I mean, it's still in pre-production for crying out loud!! Don't be so negative! Also, I think that the writing, directing and acting are ultimately the MOST important things that a great movie require, not super-mega-cool visual effects, even for a Justice League movie. Look at Batman Begins!! that movie was probably the best super hero based movie in quite a while and it didn't have so much of that CGI mombo-jombo stuff.

DaftRabbit Says:
November 1st, 2007 at 01:41
Steve, I agree with a lot of you said. However, I must point out one small detail. Batman Begins was great, yes (my favorite superhero movie as well)... but the reason there was no CGI in it was because there was no need for it- Batman has no powers. Everything that they set out to do in that movie could be done without the means of CGI. That's just not so for a movie like the Justice League, they will HAVE to have some computer generated effects to pull this off.

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