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Ratatouille Preemptively Declared A FlopBy Josh Tyler: 2007-01-03 00:00:00
It’s a slow news week, so I thought I’d take a moment to point out something really stupid. Pixar and Disney’s next movie Ratatouille is being preemptively declared a flop and a financial disaster. Keep in mind folks, that the film doesn’t even open until June. Oh and while they’re at it they’re calling Cars a failure too, even though it made $244 million and was 2006’s second highest grossing movie.
This bit of lunatic studio executive logic comes from Jim Hill Media where they claim to have highly placed Disney insiders whispering in their ear about the company’s current view of Brad Bird’s next movie. They say, “The feeling now is that we all may have been a little too close to Cars. That we were too in love with this film before it was released. Which is why it's now considered a mistake in-house to buy into the old 'Everyone goes to Pixar movies' idea.” Um, but everybody does go to Pixar movies. The only reason Cars made as much money as it did is because it’s a Pixar movie. The marketing campaign was a disaster, and even the most hardcore Pixar fans were worried the movie would be their first critical disaster. But people showed up and saw it anyway… because it was a Pixar movie. Cars was great and those people who go to see Pixar movies because they are Pixar movies were rewarded for their loyalty. But their supposed insider is declaring red alert because they didn’t get enough NASCAR fans to buy tickets. NASCAR fans like Larry the Cable Guy… and look how well his movie did. Who the fuck cares about them? The movie didn’t make as much as Nemo or The Incredibles, but it made a helluva lot of money, more than it had any right to make after that godawful marketing campaign. Seriously, the trailers made it look like shit. So now that these lunatics have somehow talked themselves into believing the second highest grossing movie of 2006 was a failure, they’re panicking over Pixar’s next movie Ratatouille. I guess they’re worried that it’ll only make $233 million. They’re worried that they have no idea how to market it and that kids won’t want to see a movie about a cheese eating rat. But we’ve already covered that. Who the fuck cares how they market it. It doesn’t matter. Cars proved that Pixar fans will show up for anything. As long as Pixar continues its streak of incredibly quality there’s absolutely no reason to believe that’s going to change. Besides, how could they possibly be afraid to market a movie about a rat?? Rat's and mice have been the biggest stars in animation right since it's inception. Heck, Disney's goddamn logo is a mouse! His name is Mickey. Maybe you've heard of him? Kids love movies about animated rats. Ratatouille should be the biggest marketing slam dunk Pixar has ever had. So screw marketing. That doesn’t matter. What about this summer’s stiff competition though? Ratatouille opens the same weekend as Live Free or Die Hard, one week after Evan Almighty and one week before Transformers. That’s the other big concern here, that it won’t find an audience amidst all this summer’s noise. Again though… why the fuck is this a problem? If they don’t like the release date, movie it. Move it to June 8, then it’s only up against Ocean’s 13, a sequel to a movie everyone hated, and Surf’s Up, a crap movie about surfing penguins. This whole thing is just beyond stupid, and Jim Hill’s article smacks of complete bullshit. It’s a Pixar movie. Better, it’s a Pixar movie made by animation guru Brad freakin Bird. It’s gonna be a winner and neither giant freakin robots nor Bruce Willis are going to stop it.
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