I was scrolling through Variety this morning, debating yet again in my head whether the needs of BNN justify me spending meager CB income on things like subscriptions to Variety or IMDB Pro, when I stumbled on something disturbing.

Paramount Pictures has begun developing a remake of the Cecil B. DeMille classic, The Ten Commandments.

Remember the fury of religious themed filmmaking we all predicted after The Passion? I was starting to think it wouldn’t happen. Well here it is. Only with The Ten Commandments you get all the religion you can handle mixed with great opportunities to over use CGI and throw in mind boggling special effects. How could Paramount possibly resist? It’s The Day After Tomorrow combined with the power of Jesus. Cash cow for sure.

But why does it have to be a remake of Cecil B. DeMille’s film? Paramount, there’s this little book called “The Bible”. That’s where Cecil got his idea. Why not just make another movie based on the events there. It’s curious that Paramount would choose instead to go for a straight out remake when it would be so easy to make the same story in another way. Are they that lazy? I guess so.

How in the world could you ever replace Chuck Heston? He really is God’s spokesman you know (God must really love guns). He is Moses and no amount of Michael Moore slandery is going to change that. Or how about Yule Brenner as Pharaoh? What, you’re going to get “The Rock”? He has the right skin tones. Personally, I’m most curious to see who they get to play that wiener fellow, the one who gets Aaron to build the golden calf and runs around playing sneaky little games, “Hey Aaron! Let’s build a golden calf see?” Rob Schneider would be perfect

Manna from heaven in The CB Forum.
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