For a while it seemed like we had struck a deal by which we'd only have to put up with Rob Schneider once a year in whatever movie Adam Sandler was making, and even then he'd have so small a role that you could ignore him and focus on the 100 other awful things going on. But in Grown Ups Schneider had an actual speaking role in more than one scene, and we should have known then what it was inevitably leading toward: an actual Rob Schneider comeback.
Mercifully, he's starting slowly: THR reports he'll be lending his voice as the title character of Norm of the North, about a polar bear and three Arctic lemmings who wind up in New York after their actual homeland starts to melt. It's not just that this movie sounds like a cross between Ice Age and Madagascar; it's like the producers brought in screenwriters Steven and Daniel Altiere, said "Combine Ice Age and Madagascar and add nothing original or else you're fired," and considered their work done.
Ken Jeong and Loretta Devine are also lending their voices to the film, which will be directed by Anthony Bell, also responsible for this fall's Alpha and Omega, an animated movie coming from Lionsgate that I had not heard of until this moment. Do you want further horrifying news before clicking away from this article in terror? Schneider is currently doing a stand-up tour AND released a new comedy album AND wrote, directed and starred in the drama The Chosen One. We had our chance to get rid of him, we blew it, and now we'll be paying for it until the end of time.
