Ron Howard will soon apply his unique brand of warm n’ fuzzy to New York snobs. Variety says he’s signed on to direct a movie based on a novel called The Emperor’s Children. Except when Variety describes it they call New York Gotham, because that’s what you do when you’re a pretentious dick, or you’re Batman. Very appropriate. Well done Variety.

The plot sounds like a mid-life crisis flick for the incredibly wealthy. It’s set in 2001 (Why I have no idea, why not just set it in present day?) and follows thirty—something Ivy League grads as they whine about being rich and er, in their thirties. I haven’t read the book but that’s enough information for me to declare this project just awful. I didn’t like “The Great Gatsby” when it was full of flappers and I doubt I’ll like it any better if someone does a modern version full of whiny yuppies.

Ron Howard should be directing boxing movies or movies about men trapped in space capsules with only each other to provide comfort. Or, put those two ideas together and make some sort of prison movie. Ron Howard should stick with the common man, he doesn’t belong with a bunch of east coast, elitist snobs. I prefer to think of him as directing all of his movies in Mayberry, with Andy Griffith as his 2nd AD and the ghost of Don Knotts handling catering.